"Welcome to New Hope Thrift Shop"

That's Ms Lilian in the photo, the very pleasant and friendly lady who helps New Hope Community Services run its Thrift Shop, located behind Sembawang Shopping Centre, on a little road named Jalan Serengam.

I dropped in at the shop yesterday as part of our tour of New Hope's shelter and services, and found it a very interesting place, worth a repeat visit, even with family.

Thanks to the contributions of donors, the shop is well stocked with decorative knick knacks, posters and paintings, toys, books, clothes including designer wear, even a set of brand new dining chairs - all because the couple who bought it decided they didn't like it after all. So, they gave it away .... for a Good Cause.

If you're in the Sembawang area, or planning a weekend at the water-fronting Sembawang Park, do make arrangements to stop over at this Thrift Shop. All for a good cause :)

To find out more about New Hope Community Services, go to www.newhopecs.org.sg

Check out this Thrift Shop

Ever heard of Jalan Serengam? Or Jalan Jeruju? This New Hope Thrift Shop is located at the junction of these two roads. Acrosss the road is the Sembawang Presbyterian Church. Not far from it is the road-fronting Sembawang Shopping Centre, your landmark along Sembawang Rd, on the way to Semawbawang Park.

The premises used to be New Hope's shelter for men in crisis - men who have come out of prison or drug rehab, and have nowhere to go, and need a temporary shelter where they can sort out their lives and prepare for their Second Chance. When it became too small, New Hope found a new shelter located very near Sembawang Park, in a good, friendly and understanding neighborhood. That's another story.

If you're reading this article, please accept my invitation to check out this Thrift Shop. Go see if there isn't something you could pick up for a good cause.

Selling can lose you friends???

At our "Keys to Success, Wealth & More Friends" seminar on June 15, workshop leader Kelly Lim guided the attendees to focus on two questions - basically, two sides of the same issue.

Q1. Why do people think and say selling can cause you to lose friends?

Q2. How would (or should) you do it such that you won't lose friends and instead make friends?

Going around the room, we got the following responses to Q1:

#1: I do seem to scare away my friends and I don't even know why ... some people tell me I ask too many questions.

#2: Hard selling, or forcing a sale of a product on friends, is what will lose you friends. Worse, if you are selling what you don't even believe in!

#3: You will lose friends if you are persistent in the wrong way - keep asking people to buy products from you even when they have said "no".

In the discussion that followed, a leader who was concerned that Q1 was even discussed at all, said: If you keep losing friends in the course of prospecting, examine your ways of selling. But do not be too hard on yourself. Sometimes, it is not your selling that is at fault. It is that the prospect is not good enough. There is such a thing as a "Prospect from Hell". We have come across one or two over the years ;)

As the discussion went around the room, with contributions from people of various levels of experience, we quickly established the following consensus response to Q2:

1. When going into a conversation with any prospect, it is important that we go in with the objective of wanting to get to know the person better, not going for a sale. In getting to know a person, we're really looking out or listening up for a fit - a good fit between the prospect's needs and what we can offer. Where a fit cannot be found, we must simply let go.

2. Think Relationship Marketing, another name for Network Marketing. Relationships must come before the Marketing. Establish a relationship first - ideally, a relationship built on trust. If people trust you, they're more likely to buy what you recommend.

3. Building relationship does not necessarily take a long time or many conversations and follow-up meetings. We can establish a rapport quickly - even within three minutes - if we would just be sincerely interested in people and their interests or concerns. Focus on people, and what they want; not on ourselves and what we may want out of them. If we do that, and if the prospect is right for us, we will have the opportunity to share the products and/or the opportunity within one conversation.

So, "selling" in itself is not a bad thing. It is how you do it.

Have a Laugh: Everyday things redefined

My friend Peck sent me the following "useful humourous definitions" by email, with a note saying some are quite true. I agree. These clever distortions do capture our sentiments on many everyday things. Have a good laugh reviewing them :D

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: Art of transferring info from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Aren't they funny? You like them? Good. Now, smile :)

Why? Because ...

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Yoga therapist took away my pains

Thanks to my business partner and friend, yoga therapist Yap Wee Cheng, I am well again :)

Last month, on April 18th, shortly after we moved house, and exactly two months in my day job at SAS, I felt a shooting pain going down the upper part of my right arm.

The pain hit me when I woke up and then came back again and again during the day.

I thought it might have something to do with my office ergonomics. Maybe my seat was too low... Maybe it was the table, with its designer curve on the side that forced my arm into an awkward position as I handled the mouse for hours everyday.

I raised my seat. I repositioned my computer so that my arm wouldn't have to stay in that awkward position for hours every day. But the harm was done, and the pain continued.

Wife told me it was probably my moving the heavy furniture at home by myself in the middle of the night. As usual, I couldn't wait to get everything in place so that we could begin to live well in our new apartment in Toa Payoh.

Whatever the cause, I needed to get rid of the recurring shooting pain. Ouch!!!!

I applied a massage oil. It didn't help. I applied my cream for hydrating joints and bones. It didn't help either. Evidently, they were not addressing the root cause of the problem, whatever that might be.

A doctor friend of mine, when told of my complaint when we met socially over coffee, said the symptoms suggested that it may be an upper back problem and that for some reasons, my bone may have ended up pressing on my nerves. So, it is a back and nerve problem?

When I met Wee Cheng, my yoga therapist friend cum fellow Bios Life Franchise owner, in the course of business, I told her about my problem. It didn't take her long to figure out that it may have something to do with my posture. A recent physical strain may hurt a soft spot and triggered the pain.

She said she had noticed for some time that I tended to stick my head too much out of allignment with the rest of the body, and she had wanted to ask if I have back pains or problems like that.

She immediately attended to me and helped me to straighten up with some hand stretching exercises. Those stretching exercises seemed to have gotten to the root of the problem for I'd feel the same pain not in my arm but in my fingers! It's like the pain was being moved down my arm to my fingertips. We also had a good laugh discovering that everytime I tried to straighten my head, my belly would stick out. So, I'd have to remember to straighten my head and tuck in my belly! These are things I could try to get right while on the MRT, and I consciously do it nowadays.

She offered me a series of private yoga therapy sessions. Being keen to get rid of the pain and to get well again, and being a believer in alternative approaches to wellness myself, I readily took up the offer.

Having advised her earlier not to sell her one-on-one service cheap (for she has limited hours to trade off), I offered to pay the full rate for consultations. S$120 per hour! She gave me some discount.

We had the first session at the Unicity office, an hour before her monthly Yoga & Nutrition workshop. For more privacy, and to avoid interruptions, the second session was held at my home.

Through these two sessions alone, I learnt quite a number of things about my physical self e.g. I not only had bad posture, I was bow legged! Me bow legged? And flat footed too!!! I have heard of that before but never knew what that meant. And I didn't breathe right either. For example, when I breathe in, my stomach would cave in when it should be ballooning out.

Wee Cheng patiently showed me how to stand, how to walk, how to breathe ... Yes, can you picture that? A middle-aged guy learning to stand, walk and breathe right, after four decades of doing it all wrong? ;)

Wee Cheng knows about my weariness about the spiritual dimension of Yoga, and that any chanting or calling on spirits wis a no no. She understands that I'd go along so long as it is taken at the level of breathing and physical exercises. Sensitive to my concerns, she'd explain to me the physiological relevance of various acts or moves. On that basis, I allowed her to go as far as to teach me the Sun Salutation poses. Two rounds of that made me sweat more than a 30-minute walk around the neighbourhood (my kind of exercise). It was GOOD!

At the end of just those two sessions, and it's been more than a week since the second, those shooting pains have disappeared from my arm. I no longer wake up with dread and a hint of that trouble.

She asked me this morning if I'd like to do another session this evening. I sheepishly and honestly replied by sms: The crisis has blown over. I no longer feel the urgency to spend time and money on another session. But I'll tell my friends about you and what you can do for them if they are in need of Yoga Therapy, I offered.

So, here I am. Happy to be well again ;)

By the way, Wee Cheng writes a blog of her own, in Chinese. If language is not a problem, go here: http://blog.omy.sg/tingting

Presenting New Hope .. and 2nd chances in life

I am happy and honoured to present to you New Hope Community Services - a charity that provides temporary shelter and counselling support to the displaced and homeless and also ex-offenders fresh out of prison with nowhere to turn to.

New Hope is represented in this photo by its founder and executive director, Pastor Andrew Khoo (standing in the middle), and Warren De Souza, a young entrepreneur who volunteers at the charity (1st from right).

My partners and I at The 5E Network recently found common cause with Pastor Andrew and New Hope, and went ahead to adopt the charity as our favourite charity to work with and to support long-term, on an ongoing basis. We are impressed by their passion, mission and good work to help the displaced and the shunned in Singapore's affluent society.

With this "adoption", we will help New Hope build up a source of income that is independent, recurring, growing and significant. We have set a long-term target of S$10,000 a month, or S$120,000 a year. New Hope runs on a budget in excess of S$400,000 a year. Our efforts kicked off in April 2008 with a handful of us - Lily Soen (seen in this photo with hubby Hoong Chiu), Alice, Sunny and I - procuring S$1,000 of sales with which to open a high-yielding Bios Life Franchise account for the charity.

Next, we are looking to identify one or two suitable candidates people from the two main groups that New Hope helps - the homeless and ex-offenders - who have a burning desire to turn their lives around and do whatever it takes to make life better. When we find these candidates, we'd go all out to sponsor, train and guide them to build up a personal franchise of their own. They may then be an inspiration to others.

Meanwhile, we have proceeded with our other major intention to promote New Hope's cause wherever we have influence or the opportunity to do so, with a view to procure for them financial and other kinds of support from as many sources as we can find. We have created a Facebook group to publicise their work and promote awareness of their cause. We have presented the charity to a group of Rotarians with a view to working out some long-term collaboration between the charity and the international service movement.

This is the beginning of an exciting, heart-warming and inspiring journey.

I'd like to invite you to join us. Together, we can give new hope to those who'd otherwise feel hopeless and give a second chance to those whom society would normally shun or dismiss as no-hopers.

To help you make that decision, you can find out more about New Hope Community Services at www.newhopecs.org.sg

Pursuing Happiness: Let nobody tell you what you can or cannot do

"Never let somebody tell you that you cannot do something ... not even me," said Chris Gardner to his 5-year-old son, Christopher, correcting himself after realizing that he had unknowingly knocked his little son's dreams of basketball stardom.

He had earlier told the boy he shouldn't be playing ball all day because he is unlikely to get good at basketball or get anywhere with it ... since his dad wasn't even an average player at it.

Correcting himself quickly, he said: "If you've got a dream, you got to protect it. People cannot do something themselves; they're going to tell you that you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period."

These are my favourite lines from the inspirational movie Pursuit of Happyness, starring Will Smith and his real-life son.

It is based on the true story of Chris Gardner, a black guy in San Francisco, who refused to let a long spell of poor sales and mounting financial debts stop him from keeping on trying to improve his situation while staying true to his promise to himself that he'd never let his boy grow up not knowing his daddy. He didn't know who his father was until he was 28.

His long spell of financial lack saw his him descend from a rented apartment to a small motel room and then, a temporary shelter for the homeless, for which he and his boy had to queue up, day by day, with no assurance they'd get a room or bed to sleep for the night.

Then, one night, because he was a little later than normal getting out of work, the worst happened - they ended up without the temporary shelter.

That was when they ended up spending the night in a public toilet in the train station! Tears streamed down his cheek as he tried to cover the ears of his sleeping child as someone banged on the locked door, trying to get in to use the toilet :(

During this trying period, his wife gave up on him and left for New York. He was also haunted, challenged and even jailed by unpaid rents, parking fines and taxes.

Despite all these, he did not lose heart. He kept going at two things that he believed will give him the way out of his rut - trying to sell off his stock of Bone Density Scanner for immediate cash, despite rejections, mishaps and thefts; and pitching hard for a chance to be considered for a job at a stockbroking firm, and then working tenaciously and creatively at cold calls at his no-salary internship at Dean Witter Reynolds so that out of more than 20 candidates, he'd be the one to get the one and only one prized job at the stockbroking firm.

In the end, he managed to sell off every single scanner, including those he managed to recover from "thieves", raising money badly-needed to help him and son get by, day by day.

He also landed the job. That led to richly-deserved success, an investment bank of his own (Gardner Rich), and eventually, wealth in the millions of dollars.

I watched this movie for the first time last Monday when it was introduced at our weekly seminar, and again early today, with my 7-year-old son Jia Wei, gamely watching it with me on my recommendation. My boy enjoyed the movie and found a number of scenes touching and moving enough. Here and there, his voice broke as he asked me to explain what was happening.

If you haven't watch this movie, go watch it. I'm sure it will put a lot of thankfulness in your hearts while adding steel to your back.

If for some reasons, you simply can't get around to watching the movie, remember this:

"Never let somebody tell you that you cannot do something ... not even those closest to you. If you have a dream, you've got to protect it. People who cannot do something themselves are going to tell you that you can't do it too. If you want something, go get it. Period."

Take Charge, Dream Big, Play Tall

The last time he spoke in Singapore, Unicity's ex-CEO turned top Diamond-rank distributor Aaron Webber urged us to "Don't Worry, Be Good, Work Hard".

This time, he exhorted us to "Take Charge, Dream Big, Play Tall".

"Big dreams get you out of bed in the mornings. Big dreams will see you through down times. They give you the strength to get through the winter till the spring."

"My dream is to lead the transformation of the industry. The industry is in its adolescence. Just like teenagers, an industry in its adolescence do stupid things ... We have everything we need to lead the industry: the product, the people. We just need to believe that and believe in ourselves. I believe in you."

The following are highlights of some of the ideas that Aaron shared with business associates in three separate sessions from Friday, Feb 15th to Saturday, Feb 16th. Great stuff, all, if you're trying to build a business for yourself. Read on.

Re-invent yourself to stay relevant

Thinking that we have a Blue Ocean strategy, with no competition to speak off, may lull people into complacency, Aaron fears. The competition is watching all the time, and at some point in time, the competition will also find a way to sail into the Blue Ocean, and before you know it, the blue waters will turn purple and then, red.

It is important that while we have the advantage of a Blue Ocean strategy, we should make sure that we constantly reinvent ourselves to stay ahead and stay relevant.

Aaron, which confesses to subscribing somewhat to a "chaos model", said he has seen too many leaders stagnate in the business and then go into control mode. They start coming out with Franchise Manuals, checklists, scripts. If you were to follow these closely, you will lose your personality, he warned.

"Don't lose your personality," he advises. "In the case of McDonald's, if you were to take the pickle out of the Big Mac, you will lose your franchise." In our case, we're welcome to take the oickle out if we think it doesn't suit our market.

While duplication (duplicate what works) helps the business moves along, we ought to allow people room to apply their personalities to their business. They should be welcome to test out new ideas of their own - subject to their staying true to the basics, the core values and the principles. Believe in what you do. Do it naturally - not in a stiff, scripted way.

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Simple solution to any problem - in 3 words

If we are not watchful, our business may grow and then degenerate, as they often do in three stages: Growth => Excuses => Blame. To prevent this degeneration, remember this 3-word advice: GROW YOUR BUSINESS.

At the risk of over-simplifying, think of any problem or excuse that people can have for not doing well in the business, and you can work around it by growing the business. Growing our business is the best answer to every problem, challenge or difficulty.

So, how does one go about "growing the business"?

1. Take Charge, take ownership. Think like an entrepreneur, get to work. "This is your business - not the company's, nor your upline's nor your big leader's." Beyond the products and the cheques, don't depend too much on the company or your uplines to do things for you. Leaders should build and encourage independence; not breed dependence.

2. Work Hard. Aaron said his personal experience proves that "hard work can compensate for a lack of skills". Keep doing whatever it takes to grow the business. Don't go into management mode. We need leaders to be productively engaged. That's been "all that's missing".

To get a harvest (and harvests are never immediate), we must continue to plough and plant. Even if the weather is harsh, we must get out to plough and plant. To get a bigger harvest, we must reinvest part of the previous harvest.

3. "Play tall." Aaron shared his learning experience playing in a basketball team made up of a lot of particularly short people. He remembers the team being intimidated by the prospects of playing teams that are much taller and bigger than them. And what did the coach tell them? Play tall. Act the way you want to be. It did work.

4. Work at being attractive. "We have to make ourselves attractive," Aaron shared. One way is to Be Good, and among many things, being good means doing what you said you would. Be honest, remembering that one is either honest or not. There's no such thing as being "kind of honest". You are either honest or you are not.

Think ROI - and that's not "returns on investments". It is RELATIONSHIPS OVERRIDE INCOME. Treat people as people, not as transactions. Adopt Hard Rock Cafe's motto: Love All, Serve All.

5. Live thankfully. "Be thankful for the latest goodies in the Singapore Budget," said Aaron as he addressed a full house at the company's Chinese New Year Open House on 16 Feb 2008. Be thankful for all the good that comes from living life in Singapore - a great city that many other cities want to emulate. It is easy to forget your blessings when you live in the midst of them every day.

Be thankful for the times that we live in, the opportunity that we have to build a business with the kind of products that we have. Be thankful even for your challenges. They test us and make us stronger and better. "Count your blessings .. We have everything we need to lead the industry: the product, the people. We just need to believe in ourselves. I believe in you. Do you?"

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212 for Breakthrough

What is the significance of the number 212, Aaron asked. 212 on the Fahrenheit scale (equivalent to 100 degree Celsius) is the boiling point of water. "In my view, we're at 209-210. Please don't get to 211, get scared and flinch. Keep going."

We may be very close, only a few degrees away from breakthrough.

My brother and I with Mr Chee

Teacher-Students Reunion 36 years on

Chinese New Year is a time for reunions, especially family reunions, and quite often reunion of friends or ex-classmates in the hometowns. But a reunion of teacher and students? I don't know about you. But that's a rarity for me. If and when that happens, that'd be an exceptional bonus. My brother Eng Hooi and I received just such an Exceptional Bonus this Chinese New Year back home in Penang.

Please meet our Commerce Teacher from our secondary school years in Assumption Secondary School in Penang in the early 1970s, Mr CHEE THOE LAY a.k.a. Kojak.

Eng Hooi remembers he'd be angry about being called Kojak, then. But he must have mellowed with age, like people in general are prone to. It was Mr Chee himself who reminded us that we used to call him Kojak - but he didn't remind us that we did that behind his back. Kojak (acted by Telly Savalas (?)) was that bald-headed detective who spoke with a drawl in a TV series.

That, I had forgotten, but quickly recalled on his jovial reminder. Mr Chee has obviously learnt to laugh at himself even more. As Chris was taking this photo, he called out, "Wait, let me comb my hair first!" What hair!

I remember Mr Chee well for sending all of us, as the first exercise at the end of our first lesson in Commerce in Form 1 (1974), to go open a bank account of our own. It'd have been the first bank account for almost all of us, if not all. I obediently went to the nearby Chartered Bank (now Standard Chartered Bank) in Bagan Luar Rd to open my first bank savings account. That was to be my first of many encounters with the world of finance. I was also to maintain that account for the next 30 years!

We met Mr Chee at the Arena foodcourt ("let's eat here, it's cheap and good") of the spanking new waterfront shopping centre, Queensbay Mall, overlooking the prison turned spa resort island of Jerejak.

Mr Chee looks well. He has been taking extra good care of himself, after a mild stroke in 2000. That taught him to manage or avoid needless stress better, and eat (less) according to his (reduced) needs.

"People our age don't need that much food because we don't do that much anyway."

Daily life for him is an early morning walk, a good breakfast (no lunch), go home to take a good look at his stock market investments ("see whether to take my profit or to let them ride") and after that, a good sleep until ... dinner? Or something like that ...

Mr Chee, who taught us in the early 1970s, taught for 6 years in Assumption (now defunct). Then, it was 6 years in LaSalle (now defunct too - "must be because I am one of the "Pek Kah Te" teachers, he said). After that, he taught for 14 "too long" years in Heng Ee. The location suited the demands of the time then, when he as the more mobile parent had to ferry his three children to different schools at different times.

In Heng Ee, because he opted to teach in the afternoon session, he was given the heavy responsibility of being the discipline master. How does he discipline difficult boys in a school infamous for its discipline problems? "I'd ask them out for a game of water polo ... " As a result, most of them (the bad ones) play water polo, he said.

Mr Chee has also been a part-time swimming coach. It was in that role at the University in Penang, USM, that he run into Eng Hooi when my brother was doing his undergraduate studies.

It's been more than 30 years - 36 years for Eng Hooi, 34 for me counting from our first encounters in Form 1. We remember Mr Chee well, and feel extra privileged to be remembered by him.

Thank You Sir, for the times then.

Thank You Sir for making the connection after all these years!

It was so fun catching up after all these decades.

We appreciate you :)

Never ever give up .. whatever the pain or loss

Top of the news today. Last par in front page article on the latest market sell-off.. "We have dealers telling us that their clients are threatening to kill themselves if they are hit by further margin calls," said the risk management head of a local brokerage.

That reminds me of a piece of information from a resident when I dropped by the university hall of residence Raffles Hall yesterday. I was told a PRC student, in Singapore on a scholarship and a Chemical Engineering undergrad, jumped off the top floor, i.e. the 8th floor, of the next door Kuok Foundation Hostel only a few nights earlier. He died.

In our banter, we wondered if exam or study stress drove the undergrad to commit suicide. But then, we thought aloud, if the deceased was a scholar, and so, was presumably above-average smart, how could he have been overcome by academic stress to the extent that he would give up on life???

If his studies were that stressful that it made life seemed not worth living, then why not just give up on the studies? There are many other options in life! I've known of many drop-outs who've made good, and living full and happy lives. Why give up on life and thus on every future possibility?

Today, on reading today's news, I wondered further about the student who gave up on life. Perhaps there's more to the suicide than academic stress. Perhaps, like so many tech and market-savvy, street-wise undergrads nowadays, he might have made some ill-timed moves in the stock market. Perhaps, the sharp selldowns in recent weeks - the consequence of growing fear of an economic downcycle, might have hit him badly.

Yes, perhaps. But even so, why give up on life?

The following thoughts apply to those people referred to in the front-page news article - stock market players who are feeling suicidal because of their hefty losses and mounting debt obligations. Why not pluck up the courage, be brave and face up to the losses, and if necessary, go through the pain and shame of bankruptcy?

Bankruptcy doesn't kill, and thanks to bankruptcy laws recently amended to allow risk-takers a second chance after a financial fall, bankrupts can always make a comeback. A dead man cannot.

Life, to be lived out with the body, spirit and soul that God has so ingeniusly created for us, holds out immense and untoild possibilities, for those who'd treasure that life, be brave in the face of the storms of life and stay alive to fight the good fight another day.

In my business, we always advise people that the most assured way to succeed is to never ever give up.

It's the same in the business of life. Never ever give up, and we will succeed - whatever we choose to do with our lives, one way or another.

Add life to people's years & years to their lives

Singaporeans live longer but suffer 8 years of poor health, screams the headline of a recent news article in The Straits Times, 3 Dec 2007. The sub-title says, a Ministry of Health study shows main causes of sickness are diseases that could be prevented early on e.g. heart attacks, stroke, diabetes.

The article went on to exhort people to go for regular screening in addition to adopting healthier lifestyle choices like eating more vegetables and fish and less red meat and doing more exercise.

There is something else more proactive and positive than going for regular screening i.e. "early detection", and easier to do than changing our diet or adding exercise on a continuous basis.

I have come to understand that all of those diseases mentioned above - heart attacks, stroke, diabetes, are separately classified but they are fundamentally the same disease - unhealthy blood, which have either too much bad cholesterol, too little good cholesterol, too much triglycerides or blood sugar, or a combination of some or all of these.

It is not difficult to set things right.

Add an orange-flavor fiber nutrient lifestyle drink called Bios Life to our daily routine, stirring it into a glass of water and drinking it twice a day, before every major meal, like lunch and dinner.

The cost? Only S$5 a day i.e. S$2.50 each time. If you think that's expensive, think again. How much do people pay for a Starbucks? And if you still think that's expensive, well, try falling sick ;)

Prevention is not only better than cure; it is cheaper too.

How will you know it works? Get a cholesterol test before starting a Bios Life program. Get a second test after two months of taking it twice a day. A comparison of the two results will show you if it works or not.

If you're game to try, or introduce it to someone who badly needs to do something about his health, contact me.

Final thought: Why live until 78 (for men) or 82 (women) and spend eight of those years suffering and being impoverished by preventable diseases, when you can have more life in your years?

Go ahead. Make Life Better!

"Listen with Grace, without judgment"

At my weekly coaching session today, I received a powerful lesson that is useful for every day living, from my Coach, delivered through his anointed servant, Pastor Joseph Prince of New Creation Church. I believe you'll find this lesson in listening as useful as I do, be it for the purpose of parenting or for supervising people whom we are responsible for or mentoring our students or apprentices.

The good pastor said that while we may preach and believe in Grace, we may sometimes (or even often) fall short of practising what we preach when dealing with people in our inner circle.

Do we as parents of our children, or seniors/supervisors of our staff, or a leader of our people sometimes lapse into offering advice, offering a way out of a problem, sermonising, lecturing or preaching? When all we needed to do, and should do, was to "listen with Grace and without judgment".

When dealing with children, do we tend to be too quick to advise on the do's and dont's when presented with a problem. Worse, do we try to minimize the emotional hurt or physical pain that they may be going through, in the misguided belief that making light of what they're going through help them overcome a stressful situation.

Why not just listen? And listen with not just ears but also eyes. Yes, look at them, make eye contact, when they're trying to tell you something (good or bad) that's happened to them during the day - don't listen with eyes transfixed on your work or the TV!

Empathize. Don't just know what they feel; feel what they feel. Feel with them what they're feeling. Accept their feelings - do not deny them their feelings e.g. by saying "Oh, you shouldn't feel this way" or "Oh, don't cry. It's not that bad."

Sufferings, pains or hurts of childhood are part and parcel of all that build up character. Do not rob your children of the learning experience by being too quick to go to their rescue or advise them what to do about it. Let the child figure things out; work out what they ought to do about their situations. When we help the children to feel right, we can be confident that they will behave right.

Another area where we should learn to act with Grace is when we're dealing with a misunderstanding. What do we do when there is a misunderstanding and someone gets angry and speak to us out of that anger?

If someone curses you, and you curse them back, there is no grace in that. If someone curses you, and you bless them instead; that's grace! If we were to give back what we think people deserve, that grieves the Holy Spirit. Why not respond by offering undeserved favour? That's Grace defined!

Relevant biblical verses

Ephesians 4:23-32

And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;

And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down on your wrath.

Neither give place to the devil.

Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister to the hearers.

And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Let's Be Blessed by His Word!

Thinking Big: Time out for charity

On Saturday, 3rd November 2007, just over 10 of us in The 5E Network, with a few accompanied by little ones, took time out to do something we've not done since school days, something still currently associated with school kids rather than grown-ups or middle-aged adults.

Canvassing for donations from the public in the streets for a charity. In this case, Life Community Services Society of 681, Hougang Avenue 8, a charity which runs a mentoring or befrienders programme for some 100 children of prisoners and a bursary for needy students.

Doing this Flag Day with Life Community Services is the first official act in our earlier decision by our network to adopt the charity. We are not helping out on a once-off hit-and-run basis. A charity often needs not only money but also manpower to run their programmes (in this case, trained volunteer befrienders) and brainpower (e.g. setting aside time to think up new ideas to raise funds or meaningful activities for those under care).

Incidentally, the charity was especially interested in adult canvassers like ourselves, believing that adults tend to do better and collect fuller donation pouches than school children. (And yes, it is pouches nowadays, no more the clanging tin cans.)

The one dozen of us had a good time, from 11am to 3pm, trying to fill up our pouches and finish giving away the donor's stickers. My partner Amy Toh said we should do this again, and put all new business apprentices through such activities periodically.

Why? The exercise, she says, is good training in approaching strangers, speaking up clearly so as to be understood, accepted and get things done, braving rejections and trying again and again, and disciplining ourselves to finish a job, whether or not we feel up to it or tired in the legs.

I found myself, with my gamely 6-year-old boy, standing by a pedestrian walkway, calling out to almost everyone passing by: "Hello! Help us help some children. Children of prisoners. Any little donation will be nice ... Thank you". Jia Wei would simply stick out his hands with the collection pouch hanging from his fingers. On a few occasions, when I get curious glances, I'd feel it necessary to say: "This ... is my son. He's helping me help those children." It's my way of clarifying, "No, he is no child of a prisoner and I am no ex-convict!" ;)

Having executed this first act of helping out with Life Community's Flag Day, we'd be exploring with the charity what else we can do and how else we can help.

The thinking behind our adopting the charity is that people-centred and people-oriented business groups such as ours ought to be big (as in big hearted) enough to set aside time and energy, if not money, for worthy social causes.

We can come together to build our business for personal profit; we can also come together from time to time to help others, people who are helpless, without profit.

That, we think, is a mark of success, a sign of one having arrived, and a characteristic of people of substance.

To all my partners who took time out to be involved in this little project, congratulations on your good show and thank you for the fun.

Get onboard for an adventure

I've just come back from a 3D2N weekend with the first three Directors in my organization - my sister Joan, young Kelly and his power couple downline, Amy & Douglas.

We had a great time in Changi Village. We enjoyed relaxing dips in Changi Village Hotel's rooftop "pool with a view"; an eight-dish celebration dinner at the Changi Point Ferry Terminal seafood restaurant; local breakfast in the neighbourhood - from dim sum to roti prata; supper at the nearby hawker centre (the goreng pisang is fantastic and so is the sweet potato done like french fries) and easy chats with good company over long drinks late at night at the hotel lounge Vau. A major highlight was an adventure trip to an island getaway!!!!

In the picture, you can see us all onboard for our adventure island.

We didn't talk shop much throughout the stay. We didn't need to. We know each other well in the course of working the business together. It was a "down time" to enjoy each other's company, the friendship that has grown out of the partnership ...

We did toss up a few good ideas on how future Directors' Weekends are going to be!!!! So, here's an open invitation, to get onboard for an adventure of a lifetime, along the way, living our life and doing our business in style.

An Inspirational Video 1 - The Law Of Attraction

Hit a Brick Wall lately? Love 'em!

Someone introduced me to an inspiring and moving video on YouTube about a dying but high-spirited and still fun-loving 47-year-old professor, Randy Paush, of Carnegie Mellon University's Entertainment Technology Center.

He chose to speak at his "Last Lecture" about going after his childhood dreams and helping others to achieve theirs.

I find the 1 1/2 talk highy captivating, entertaining, and often funny. Randy is really good. And he presents his life experiences and achievements in generalised, universal terms that we can take and apply in any life situations.

Here's one (or three, or three in one) that I like, and which my business apprentices will find useful to remember every time they run into a brickwall (a.k.a. rejection, or a "stall"):

Brick walls are there for a reason: They let us prove how badly we want things.

Brick walls are there for a reason: They are there to stop other people

Brick walls let us show our dedication.

When you can find 1hr 44min from your busy schedule, go watch this inspiring video,

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5700431505846055184
&q=randy+pausch&total=19&start=10&num=10&so=0&type=search&pl
index=6

It'd be well worth the effort. I laughed through most of it and was moved to tears at the end :)

Even when Randy is done with his part, stay on the video, and listen to what significant others in his professional life say about his life's work. That's the really moving part. How often does a man live to listen to "eulogies" and buildings dedicated in his name? Normally not.

The bad news in boom times

Have you heard, because of the economic boom, asking rents for some offices or shop space have shot up 50-100%? Imagine, if you were running a business out of an office and your landlord tells you the rent will double up at the next lease renewal. Some businesses have had no choice but to relocate, incurring painful additional costs in the process. Many businesses have also had to pay more just to keep their workers. My lawyer friend who runs his own little firm recently told me fresh graduates nowadays cost more than S$4,000 a month, and they may not even be good enough for the job!

This situation was captured in the Upfront column of The Straits Times on Wednesday, July 25th, under the headline, Boom time doesn't come cheap for businesses.

The writer Erica Tay wrote of Marcus Ng, owner of an interior furnishings company, who was told by his landlord that the rent for his business premises in a MacPherson industrial estate will be raised by more than 30% when it comes up for renewal in three months. Business has been good, but he is not ready to stomach such a steep rental rise. "If I can't bargain for a lower hike, I will move elsewhere."

Then there is VS Kumar, MD of a 100-strong courier company Network Express. His drivers are clamouring for pay rises. "With the current salary you are giving us, our families can't afford to buy the same things anymore," they tell Mr Kumar. The company has no choice but to review salary packages.

The good times have put a squeeze on the supply of commercial space as well as labour, leading to higher rentals and wages. The higher rentals also apply to rents on accomodation, with expatriates asking for higher housing allowances.

When I read about how many businesses stand to suffer as much in good times as they do in bad times, I am glad and thankful for the unique, hassle-free, home-based business that I own. For me, like many other businesses in good times, business has been better so far this year. However, unlike traditional businesses facing the usual headaches and cost pressures, I get to keep all of the extra income.

Nobody gets to tell me to pay more for my rent for I operate out of my office at own home!

I'm sure the rent for our new shop and corporate showcase at the new location in HDB Hub Mall #02-06 is higher than the rent at the previous location. But that's the responsibility and burden of my corporate partner, not me nor my associates.

Wages must have gone up too for the good corporate staff that serve us, but that again is the corporate side's responsibility.

Nobody in my organization ever comes up to me to ask for more money because inflation is pricing things out of their reach. Like me, they get to write their own cheques. If we want more, we just work harder and smarter. It all depends on our own effort and success.

So, good times or bad times, we are fine.

I remember one clever line Eddy Tan, the most successful of Unicity networkers in this part of the world, is fond of using:

"In good times, they eat; in bad times, they do. For us, either way will do" :)

S$300,000 to learn to "listen well"!

I read in The Straits Times on Tuesday, July 24th, that 46 UBS wealth management trainees are in Singapore to attend a one-year, S$300,000 course on how to be a very good listener - one of the key attributes of a successful private banker.

This select bunch were handpicked from a massive field of 2,800 applicants. They include a former top-ranked Hongkong professional tennis player, a programme manager with the World Economic Forum in Geneva and a super-geek from Singapore, who gave up a S$150,000 a year job developing electronic payment systems to join the programme.

As part of their training, they will receive both classroom and on-the-job training in empathy (YES, EMPATHY), product knowledge and leadership skills in financial hubs such as Singapore and Switzerland. The cost of the course, fully paid by UBS, covers trainees' salaries accomodation, travel expenses and course fees.

According to UBS global wealth management chairman Raoul Weil, who was in Singapore to meet the trainees, successful private bankers must have both "a high emotional quotient (EQ) to relate effectively to the client and the IQ to offer him the best investment options".

The news article was headlined: Want to be a successful private banker? Listen well ..."

My guess is that if you want to be a successful anything, we need to listen well :)

So, it's great that bankers and businesses are picking up on this, and investing in it.

One of these days, some of us are going to make a lot of money simply teaching people how to listen well. Indeed, some of us already are, although indirectly ;)

Hello! Who's listening?

Yesterday, in a private coaching session with an apprentice on how to become exceptionally popular and make friends in a social setting, we reviewed a common scenario.

Imagine five friends catching up socially over a coffee. A few have known each other for some time; the others more recently acquianted and inducted into the informal get-together.

Someone starts talking about a pet peeve. He barely finishes what he wants to say. Someone else jumps in with his take on the same subject, believing that he is contributing to the conversation and staying with the flow. Then, another jumps in with her own story. Now, we have three excited people trying to talk at the same time.

The other two, being relatively new to the group or not so adept at speaking up or breaking into an animated conversation, couldn't get a word in. They drift away, find companionship in each other's sense of not quite fitting in, and enter into their own little chat.

Hello, who's listening?

The party ends later and everyone goes home, with dry throats and hollowed hearts.

Now, what if one of the two left out of the conversation, instead of drifting away, listens in closely? He makes a connection with one of the talkers and what he's trying to say. He realizes that there is an interesting story that was unfinished because it was interrupted. So, he speaks up, saying, "Excuse me, just now, what you said about ...., I find that so interesting. Can you please tell me more about that?"

The guy with the unfinished story beams, pleasantly surprised someone was actually listening in to what he had to say, and even wanted to hear the rest of his story. So, he continues with his interrupted story. Now, the polite and interested listener gets the others listening in too.

Do you think this party will end differently?

Do you think there will be at least one person in the party who felt really listened to? And do you think someone in the party of five will leave a good impression of himself on the others and possibly win for himself a deeper bond or friendship than before the evening started out?

The moral of the story? In this world where speaking is over-rated and listening is under-appreciated, it doesn't take much to make a difference and to leave a mark. Let's not worry about speaking up or speaking well so as to impress for the moment. Instead, why not focus on listening well so as to leave a more lasting and favourable impression?